Better Angels: With a joke and a song, Wauwatosa's singing cashier spreads smiles

Business gets busy just before lunchtime at the Outpost Natural Foods store in Wauwatosa, where, in checkout lane two, the register is manned by the incomparable Les Ambrosh, former courier to Madonna, Carol Channing, Teri Garr, Weird Al Yankovic and Milli Vanilli.

"The most weird delivery I ever had," Les says. "This box, I would deliver it about once a month. It was very fragrant, long and light. And I asked this woman: 'What is this?' And she said, "Dolly Parton's wigs."

Stories from back in the day when Les worked for FedEx in Los Angeles are part of the all but endless patter that Les uses in his effort to better the day of anyone who happens to come through his line.

"I want to have fun. I want them to have fun. I want to get a reaction and I hope it's a positive and funny one, and I hope they are smiling — and the very least smiling and hopefully laughing — and it makes their day."

So he tells jokes.

Customer: "Didn't you used to have a beard?"

Les: "Actually, I did used to have a beard. You have a good memory."

Customer: Nods as he pulls out his wallet.

Les: "Yeah. I shaved it off. I was dating a woman who said she didn't like beards. So I shaved it off."

Les grabs a grocery bag and smartly snaps it open.

Les: "Next day, we broke up."

With kids, it's a natural rapport.

Les: "Can I come over for supper?"

Tallulla, who is 6 years old: "Sure!"

Les: "I got to ask my mom, OK?"

Les picks up the house phone above his register.

Les: "Hi, Mom. Can I come over to my little friend's house tonight for supper?"

It's a no-go. Apparently, Les needs to clean up his room.

Les: "Maybe next time."

Tallulla, disappointed: "Yeah."

But Les's pièce de résistance: Song. Les serenades the people, particularly the women, who come through the line.

He's been working at Outpost since 2002 and he knows a lot of the customers by name. So if it's Amanda with a sack of potatoes and a pound of coffee, Les is singing Boston: "I'm gonna take you by surprise/ And make you realize/ Amanda."

If it's one of the two Elizabeths he knows, Les is singing The Statler Brothers: "Don't know if I could ever live my life without you/ Oh E-liz-a-beth, I sure am missing you."

The jokes, the joshing and the singing, Les' customers receive it as a kindness, as a way of lightening the average day.

And the thing about kindness is that, sometimes, it begets kindness.

Susan ("Her name was Susan/She was a showgirl!") was checking out the other day. Les made her laugh and laugh. Then Susan leaned over the counter and said to Les that she wanted to pay for the groceries of the next woman in line.

The woman was shocked. No, she said. Then she said, thank you. Then she began to cry.

"It's wonderful to give," Les said.

"Wonderful to receive."

Join us in telling the stories of our better angels, of the kindness, compassionand decency that brighten our community. Call or text Crocker Stephenson at 414.858-6181. Or email him at crocker.stephenson@jrn.com.